November 23, 2005

• Kitchen Pech

  I can’t think of an English
  word that captures the meaning of the good old German word
  “Pech”.  I guess we’d say it is “bad luck” or “misfortune” but
  somehow that doesn’t really catch the meaning.  After I tell you
  about my day in the kitchen you’ll understand exactly what “Pech”
  is… 

  The family (or major parts of it) will be here for dinner tomorrow,
  Thanksgiving Day.  I usually do as many things as I can ahead of
  time, including roasting the turkey.  Sliced and steeped in its
  own juices, it saves so much last-minute hassle and tastes great. 
  So today I spent almost the entire day in the kitchen. 

  The first thing that went awry was the turkey roasting bag.  It
  sprang a leak, leaving baked-on turkey juice and grease all over the
  bottom of my newly cleaned (NOT a self-cleaning, mind you) oven. 
  So I let the oven cool down, got down on my hands and knees and
  scrubbed it out again. 

  I always make the gravy ahead of time using turkey broth made from the
  neck and giblets.  Unfortunately, the celery leaves I put in to
  flavor the broth turned it green.  I thought it wouldn’t be so
  noticeable but after I’d made the whole pot of gravy it was still
  decidedly green.  I’m sure the dogs will enjoy it on their
  kibble. 

  So start over on the gravy.  I pressure-cooked the turkey carcass
  and made more broth.  To separate the broth from the fat you can
  make a simple separatory funnel using a zipper-bag:  pour it in,
  let the fat rise to the top, snip a corner and get the broth off the
  bottom.  Simple, right?  Except this time the zipper-bag
  split at the seam and I ended up with broth all over the kitchen
  counter, down the cupboards and on the floor.   Wash the
  counter, cupboards and kitchen floor.

  While checking something in the frig an errant Tupperware rolled right
  on to the top center of the just-jelling-cranberry-jello salad, leaving
  an unsightly and unmistakeable mess on the top.   Too tired to
  repair it – think it will just have to be covered with Cool-Whip. 

  I finally finished up all my work in the kitchen and about 10 sinksful
  of dirty dishes.  Pete and I sat down to relax and watch a
  movie.  I had the bright idea to make us each a bowl of ice cream
  and remembered some hot fudge sauce hiding in a cupboard, waiting for
  just such a special occasion.  I must have misread how long to
  microwave it because by the time I looked at it, it had overflowed all
  over the inside of the microwave.  It looked exactly like a
  chocolate volcano.  I guess after scrubbing the oven and washing
  the kitchen floor, cleaning the microwave wasn’t that big a deal. 

  Green gravy, messed-up Jello, baked on turkey juice, overflowing broth
  and lava-like fudge.  A whole kitchen-full of “Pech”. 
  

  • 11:16 pm
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